About Sue
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About NLP
What is Neuro Linguistic Programming?
NLP is a process of discovering the structure of the thinking and abilities that we and others have (especially those of excellence) in order to reproduce the results that we want with consistency.
You will get many different things under the banner of NLP which is why it is important to know the values and the principles of the person that you choose to be your coach in this subject.
Which of these things have you done well today?
- Woken up on time?
- Left someone you work with in a good frame of mind having spoken to you?
- Explained something to someone else in a way that they understood?
- Moved a bit further forwards in achieving your goals or even totally achieved some?
- Successfully handled a telephone call?
- Inspired someone to do something they have not done before?
- Given feedback in a way that was received positively?
- Learned something unexpectedly?
- Successfully negotiated a potential conflict either at work or at home?
- Made a new acquaintance with whom you look forward to having future contact?
Strategy
For example someone who is skilled at influencing others usually does some or all of the following things:
- gets themselves in the best possible emotional and mental state
- holds the belief that he can get his point of view across to others in a way that invites the attention of those around him
- talks to herself in an encouraging positive internal voice
- ‘reads’ the body language of the other person
- subtly matches the other person’s body language in a respectful way
- senses the kinds of words that the other person is using in their conversation
- uses the same kinds of words in response
- reads the signals that tells them when they have rapport
- identifies what is important to the other person in how they make decisions
- recognises when he has a strong enough connection with the other person to take a lead in the conversation in a way that other person will accept
The name
The name Neuro Linguistic Programming originated in California and was developed 1975 by two Americans—Richard Bandler and John Grinder—whose interest lay in how they could reproduce the excellence of people whose performance they admired. It refers to the elements that make up the process of modelling.
Neuro:
refers to the thinking patterns that make up the mental aspect of our strategies. We take information in, and hold it in our minds in visual, auditory and kinaesthetic (feeling) ways. For example a part of a strategy to feel confident at the start of giving a presentation might be to see ourselves as in a movie, in full colour doing the presentation in the way that we would ideally like to do it. We might hear an encouraging internal voice urging us to do well. We might imagine the smooth feel of the table that is beside us as we stand and the steady confident feeling in our stomach as we begin to speak.
Linguistic:
refers to the way we use language both inwardly to ourselves (our Inner dialogue) and the language we use in conversation with others. With NLP we can become aware of the patterns in our own and others language and the effect of these patterns on both ourselves and others. For example did you realise that if you ask someone ‘why not’ when they say they can’t do something that you have influenced them to become even more resistant to the idea of doing it? A more effective question might be ‘What would happen if you did do this?’
Programming:
The programmes that we run are our strategies for getting results in all areas of our life and work. Sometimes those results are what we want whereas at other times they do not seem to meet any conscious need. We are like computers in that we have mental and behavioural codes for running our lives. Sometimes that code works well and sometimes it has ‘bugs’ in it and instead of achieving the results we want we sabotage our seemingly desired success. Sometimes we have the code but we use it inappropriately. For example you might be perceived as stubborn in the way that you hang on to a point of view when it would be better to let go. What you could do would be to use that same structure to tenaciously hold onto your goals when faced with disappointment. Stubbornness can be tenacity when used appropriately. NLP is a means of tapping into the wealth of resources that we all have within to support us in achieving what we really want.
Applications
The applications are many and grow by the day. That for me, is the beauty of NLP—it is an evolving subject that continually opens doors to further learning.
Some of the most popular applications of NLP in business are to:
- learn how to build and enhance relationships with new and existing contacts in such a way that you can understand and appreciate each person’s point of view and in so doing build the rapport with which to do effective business
- develop the skills of self management that enable you to ‘keep your head’ when the world around you is reeling
- learn how to recognise natural talents within yourself and in others and be able to select and draw on the skills that you need to achieve results that you want
- learn how to make changes stick
- find out what you really want and develop the rapport with yourself to achieve it
- build the skills of mentoring so that those who are being mentored have the modelling skills to be able to get the most from their mentors
- develop the coaching skills needed for you to be able to appraise your staff’s performance in ways that lead to learning for you, the jobholder and the company
- enhance your ability to inspire and motivate those around you with your sense of direction and your capacity to communicate in ways that are compelling
- develop the consultancy skills needed to facilitate change
- encourage accountability so that you and others take ownership of your experience and your contribution to business and to life